Raising the child you have is better than raising the one you wish to have

A parent of a child who has a low or average schooling level will find it difficult to accept that their child won’t be the person he hoped. There are very few chances that your child will become Einstein or Nadia Comaneci. Even more, there is no chance of him becoming the next Bill Gates or Taylor Swift.

Your child is different than you as a child.

Accepting that your child is not your child or a copy of you is one of the most difficult parenting challenges. It is different from you.

Parents nurture dreams and hopes for their children from the moment they are born. Academic success, fame, fortune, and sports achievements are all possible. What parent wouldn’t want his child to have the same opportunities as he did? Who hasn’t wondered… Is this the child that will fulfill my unfulfilled dreams of becoming a celebrity, the scientist, athlete, or artist I wished to be but couldn’t?

It can be difficult to accept that your child still has…mediocre talents.
A parent of a child with a normal child may find it difficult to accept that their child won’t be the person they hoped. He is not Einstein, he’s not Nadia Comaneci and he won’t be the next Bill Gates.

Accepting that your little one is different from you is even more difficult. Your little girl may not share your passion for hiking, and the boy might not be interested in becoming a doctor. In general, children will want to make choices that are different from the ones you have made or wish they had made.

It is more difficult to meet modern parenting requirements when your child has a disability.

Refusal by parents to accept the limitations of their child

There is an overwhelming desire not to accept a diagnosis. Even more common is refusing to see a doctor with the child to get a diagnosis. This is not how anyone would express their denial. Parents often claim that their child should not be “labeled”. People also claim that children with learning disabilities and psychiatric disabilities are often “over-diagnosed”.

These statements contain a variety of truths and myths, but mainly they are assumptions that cannot be supported by scientific evidence.

This includes the belief that the diagnosis is just the impressions of the professional who evaluated them. Assuming that children often are diagnosed with disabilities when they don’t present, I believe that a diagnosis is an unpleasant “label” that should be avoided as it can only hurt a child.

Of course, it is not the fear that the little one will “be labeled”, but the fear that the parent of the child will be labeled as having a less-than-perfect child. It is nothing but denial.

What does the diagnosis learning disability or psychosis mean?

People who are afraid of “labeling” assume that the diagnosis is arbitrarily made. The specialist or psychologist sees the child, and then draws some impressions from the meeting. He then determines whether he can diagnose the child. Neuro-psychological testing is often used to diagnose a disability.

Neuro-psychological testing can be complex and extensive. There are many tests that can be used to diagnose every type of disability. A diagnosis is more than an “impression”. It is a report of 15-20 pages detailing the results and explaining the difficulties found in the child. The report also includes a plan for intervention that is tailored to each child’s learning style.

The second hypothesis concerns the “over-diagnosis” of children with learning and psychiatric disabilities. This means that children are often misdiagnosed. This assumption is only made with children in mind. Nobody is suggesting that adults are “overdiagnosed”. While it is commonly believed that this is a problem that affects children only, no one can explain why “over-diagnosis” occurs in those who are not as young as the little ones.

Does scientific evidence support the claim that children who behave normally may have learning disorders?

Although I couldn’t find any evidence in the literature on psychiatry, I did find numerous hypotheses in the literature on education that this phenomenon occurs. These hypotheses, however, were not supported by empirical evidence.

Parents can seek out professionals who will diagnose their child if they don’t have the right tests. These tests can be very expensive, and you cannot guarantee that they will give the right result. The tests can be replaced by a consultation with a psychologist, or an educator specialist. This is not a case of children being diagnosed with disabilities they don’t have. This is an example where a child is given a diagnosis without undergoing a proper evaluation.

Is it harmful for the child to be labeled?

What can we say regarding “labeling?” Does “labeling” cause harm to children? I couldn’t find one. This question isn’t asking the right questions. Children with learning disabilities or psychiatric disabilities have been labeled “stupid,” difficult, “lazy” and “problem makers.” An explanation for a diagnosis can replace any labels that indicate that a child is responsible to his own problems.

There is a way for both the teacher and the child to understand the difficulties without blaming the child. Diagnosis can transform a “stupid child” into a dyslexic one and open up a range of options for dealing with the problem.

The diagnosis transforms the “difficult child” into an Asperger Syndrome child, who is essentially unable to respond appropriately to daily situations. It also opens up the possibility of a new series of strategies and generates sympathy and support from teachers instead of disdain.